It is a well known fact that the true cause of global warming is the decrease of pirates operating on the high seas.
We see here that as the number of pirates decreased, the global temperature has increased. I now present some supporting evidence.
http://www.treehugger.com/files/2008/08/slow-freight-joins-slow-movement.php
As stated in the above article on freight by sailing ship:
Transportation by sail has one-seventh the carbon emissions of a container ship. (Why that much? Because they have generators for the navigational instruments and diesel for maneuvering in port or down rivers.)
By His Noodly Appendage! Pirate ships, which didn’t even have generators, must’ve been almost carbon-neutral. Their only contribution would be the slow decomposition of their wooden hulls! We must encourage this shipping by pirate-like ships!
Ramen
